Manuscript In The Works

I've decided to go by storage today and find the manuscript for my private blog. Hopefully I will have a laptop by November 27th. I should have the site set back up and sending out links from my yahoo email account then. The yahoo email isn't my normal email account however. I will send out links to my normal email address once I've sent out links to the other blog.

However, there will be a few stipulations though:

1) Anyone with a site meter or any form of stat counter attached to their blog page will be denied access.

2) Anyone who decides to add a stat counter or site meter code to their blogs after gaining access will be denied access.

3) If someone becomes ill or is traumatized by what they read, they will be denied access.

4) Some material will be graphic. If you expect rated G reading material, don't ask for a link.

5) What if I told you I know the exact reason there is virtually no written data found for the life of Jesus Christ between the ages of 12 and 30?

If that doesn't sound bizarre enough, I hope I haven't scared anyone away.

Welcome to the story of my life.

The book will be titled...

"The Last Butterfly"

That is all for today.

Temperance

Have I ever told anybody just how much I hate the taste of wine? I can't fucking stand wine. In fact, after this week, I don't think I will ever drink wine again!

With that being said, I have decided I am going to refrain from drinking any alcoholic substances for the next 6 months so I can think clearly.

I'm also going to call a counselor tomorrow and talk to someone to deal with my fear and anxiety issues. The chakra tuning is in the works but I don't know exactly what to think of such things yet.

I saw a picture a while back of someone pointing a rod towards a woman's heehaw to tune something. I couldn't find the picture or I would have posted it here today.

However, I feel kind of awkward about delving into something which I honestly know nothing about. All I keep wondering is what will happen if someone points one of those things towards my second chakra and there is a lightning storm out. lol.

Sometimes To Feel Is To Affect Everything

About a year ago, a person who had over 30 years experience with chakra work told me something which sort of frightened me. I was told I was in a rare percentage of the population who was sensitive to the energies of others and was affected by everything.

Today, I've decided to schedule an appointment and to go in and get my chakras tuned. While in the past, I have never really been one to believe in such holistic crap. There have been too many bizarre occurrences happening lately which have caused me to change my mind. The one thing this person told me is that I can not reveal their name to anyone. The other is I can not reveal the exact time or location which this will take place at.

Within the past 3 months, I have had my visa card not be able to read in ATM machines because cards have been demagnetized, my cell phone battery has been fully charged and then died when I placed it next to my head, and the other day I was running with my Ipod and the battery took a crap.

I think, if anything, the one thing I realize lately is that sometimes to feel is to affect everything.

And sometimes to believe is to be granted the power to bend time and to change the future.

That's all for today.

Temporary Blog Closure

This blog will temporarily be going private around midnight on November 8th and will be opening back up again sometime between the 16th and the 18th. Before all the haters reading this blog get any fancy ideas, I'll put a stop to the rumor posse right now. No, I'm not fighting with nor am I currently involved in any blog war with anyone. I ain't a hater no more. Lol. Truth be told, I haven't decided whether I want to go dot com or not and I'm closing the website down temporarily to do maintenance and look at other possibilities. Don't think this means I won't be checking up on the websites I love to read though. I won't stop being nosey just cause this website goes private for a while. My last blog post should be sometime this afternoon. I will be back in a flash. Most probably won't even realize I'm gone. Lol.

My Other Blog

Quite a few people have mentioned they want the link to my other blog which is, and will continue to stay, private. The manuscript of part of it is still in storage for at least a couple of more weeks. If you're interested in receiving the link, email me and I will send them out to people once I buy another laptop and get things organized.

Falling Back Is Wack!

Here I am around 8 a.m. California time twiddling my little thumbs listening to the birdies singing. (Loud little happy tweeting bastards!)

And why am I twiddling on this early Monday morn? Well perhaps it's because I have been up for three days straight now with chronic insomnia. I look more messed up then a crack hooker who can not locate her pimp! I got the raccoon eyes on at full blare this morning. Stand back peoples! I swear to God you will turn to stone with just one gaze. (By the way, where is that Cosmedex eye cream I ordered Rebecca? I need my esthetician STAT!)

Meanwhile, the one question I can not seem to answer in my percolating little brain is just which butt wipe invented this stupid ass fall back spring forward crap twice a year. Does anyone know how jacked up it is to FALL BACK whilst working night shift? While you little day shift bastards and bitches got an extra hour this morning, all I could think about was how I'd like to bitch slap the inventor of such a concept into cyber space. I mean who was this idiot?

In fact, sometimes I have even contemplated moving to Arizona! Obviously, that's a state which doesn't have it's head up its joust hole as the time zone there stays the same YEAR ROUND!!!

Of course, blondes and time zones really don't need to mix, let me tell ya! I don't know just how many times I have traveled into that state wondering if it is the half of the year with the same time zone as California or the half of the year where California becomes a one hour fucktard difference.

And which hour is which anyways? Up, back, forward, down? Fuckall if I know.

My poor circadian rhythm simply can't find its beat anymore. I often wonder how it is legal to work people between midnight and four in the morning.

Statistics have already proven most car deaths occur between such hours. So why must some greedy klondike bar always expect people like poor little me to stay up between such hours? Don't they know they are messing with my Shelly mojo?

I have come to the conclusion making money matters more in America then health does anymore.

Just what in the hell am I ranting on and on about? Holy crap. The birds are finally quiet.

I'll be back when the pillow doesn't look so inviting.

Asta lavista bitches.

Oh yeah. I know I spelled things wrong. I could sincerely give a squat about now.

I Have No Regrets

Liam just called me a slacker! Lol. The truth is I apologize for not posting much this past week. I have actually been pretty busy.

The one thought on my mind this past week is how I don't want to live my life being bitter or angry anymore.

For all the people who have taken advantage of me in my life, I thank you. Without you teaching me, I would not have learned the proper balance between giving and taking.

For all the people who have printed publicly humiliating things about me in ink, I thank you. You taught me not to be so bold.

For all the people who have rejected me, I thank you. You taught me the importance of living in a world without pedestals.

For all the people who continue to read this blog while despising me, I thank you. You taught me believing in myself is all that really matters.

For all the crazy people I have met, I thank you. If I hadn't met you, I would have never realized how sane I actually am.

For all the people who have told me I'm not good enough, I thank you. Without your criticism, I would have never pushed myself to achieve the unthinkable.

I suppose with all the things which have happened to me in my life, I could choose to be angry right now.

The truth is though I ultimately realize it is all one big lesson.

Thank you for teaching me.

I have no regrets.

The Art of Refocusing

Sometimes the most difficult thing to do can be to concentrate on the positive and remove the need to react in dysfunctional situations. One of my worst traits is the fact I have a tendency to dwell. I sometimes wish I was more like my grandmother. (God bless her little 91 year old heart). She let's everything go the minute anything stressful comes into her life. I do realize there is a lack of religion in my life and sometimes this lack contributes to my inability to let things go.

But to expect a change in others doesn't really solve the problem, does it? After all, to change someone else is to control. So perhaps to simply love the person in the mirror enough to let go is the answer? So tomorrow afternoon, I'm removing all site meters, ip blockers, and stat counter codes from this blog.

I need to not care so much anymore about how many enemies stalk my blog or the people who only keep me in Google Reader to keep tabs on me or to spread more malicious gossip.

I mean, in the long run, what is important? Do I really need to think about who is criticizing me or who sits silently waiting to watch me stumble? The truth is, I've changed a lot. If people can't see that, fuck them.

Why should I care? To control every outcome has nothing to do with love. It is living in fear.

I don't want to be afraid anymore.

To be afraid attracts more fear. To feel controlled is to harbor resentment. To control others is to fear vulnerability. To own another is to never let them experience growth. The art of listening doesn't happen when someone does all the talking.

And the only way to take the action out of the word reaction is by simply just doing.