The one thing I have learned, this past year, is how true friendship or love can never come from a place of egos or agendas.
If one person befriends another to hurt someone else, will the friendship last? If a person sleeps with someone just to hurt somebody else, will the relationship ship really last once the deception has served its purpose? And if one person constantly talks to a friend about relationships with others, is it honestly a true friendship or just a mutual meeting to used to vent instead of practicing effective communication?
If a man only befriends a woman to get into her pants, is he truly a man? And if the woman rejects him, is he any less a man?
A real man would love a woman regardless. A real woman wouldn't settle for something she doesn't want.
A true friend would get to know a person based on values and morals.
Love is not about connecting to one person to get to another. A person should not hand out compliments as a means of getting something in return.
When one sets up expectations, the end result is always failure because to expect is to also control.
Love is not about making someone else feel uncomfortable or bending someone to break their will. Love knows no deceit. Love isn't about manipulation. Love isn't making someone feel that they aren't good enough. Love isn't about competition.
I can honestly say I am happy to bring new friends into my life now for the first time in a long time.
I am happy to get to know people and to learn about different cultures.
I am willing to give with all my heart.
There are no agendas.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
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25 comments:
Great post, Shelly. You're right about things based on an agenda. They don't last, whether it be friendships or romantic relationships. We can all take a lesson from dogs, which strangely enough, practice unconditional love much more than people. lol
'I am willing to give with all my heart'.
I have to say that this post, and in particular this line, makes me teary for I know what a long and bumpy road you had to travel to get here. :)
We are blessed to have you in the sphere Shelly and I am doubly blessed to have you as my friend.
:)
Great post Shelly ..
Stay positive in a negative world .
You will show light in the darkness .
Jlee- I was in a relationship once where the person I was with was jealous of the damn dog. I used to let the dog use my bum as a pillow every night. I came to the conclusion this asshole of a person was only jealous because cute doggie woggie prevented them from getting a piece of ass by blocking the said ass with its little head. Of course the dog got treated better. It didn't show me affection just to get a piece of ass. Lol.
Uber- Pass the tissues bitch! How dare you give such a sweet reply back and make me teary eyed too. Have I told you I luvs you today Uber?
Xena- My only question is if it will be all right to put somebodys lights out if they try to push their negative shit off on me. :)
I don't believe you have ever had, or will ever have any agendas Shelly. But some people who you have already met and will undoubtedly meet in the future will always have one.
We all need to have Agend-ar; to pick them out before they hurt us.
Where can I buy that? Cos I'm crap at trusting people I shouldn't.
It's so lovely to see you back on top. xxx
That was quite real, and quite lovely. I don't know how many people can actually say what you just did.
Very wise words indeed, I very much hope no one betrays you in the future.
I luvs you too, Shell-but you already know that! :)
Interesting questions. You know how to get a person thinking.
Elaine- I'm crap at seeing it at times too. I have come to the conclusion it is more based on boundaries and open communication more then anything. It also has to do with what a person is willing to put up with. Compromising is one thing. Losing your identity by allowing someone's actions to rub off on you is another.
I tend to be a people pleaser. Sometimes the most difficult thing is to say no. Two people, without agendas, have no problem with boundaries. But even boundaries can create problems if effective communication doesn't exist so lines do not get crossed. The most difficult thing sometimes is to tell a person what you feel the minute one feels. I was having a conversation with someone recently who told me, "If a person doesn't listen to you're opinion or perspective, they don't respect your opinion."
So I guess perhaps good agen-dar is more about self awareness and mutual respect?
Converse- Thank you for visiting and your kind words. I intend to visit your blog more. You are very poetic and trigger the artist in me. :)
Mutley- Please stop being cute or I will promptly reach through the computer screen and pinch your cheeks!
Uber- Pucker up wench!
Liam- It is funny you should say that. I get told that a lot. I usually get two reactions from people when they get to know me. Either a person can't get enough of me or scare the living shit out of them and I never see them again. I'm glad you're not the ladder. I need more male friends in my life. :)
Note to self:
If this cell phone doesn't stop removing and adding words, I am going to throw it across the room!
Hahahaha well, I wouldn't want to make JLee feel left out & jealous.
This is becoming quite the in place.
* Snacks would not go amiss though!
The snacks are enroute Uberboobs. Jlee isn't the jealous type. Lol. And I'm not the type to say I love you to make another person jealous.
I feel like I've been released from shackles. Bwahahaha. No more nut jobs isolating me. So fucking happy lately!
Uberboobs? Oh my! x
It's not just an Uber mouth I have Elaine.* flashes said UBER boobs*
Pleased to see you so happy, Shelly. Now pass the dip!
*body slams Uber to the mat*
"stay away from my woman!!" lol
My wrestling/roller derby name is "Plunder Woman" by the way. ha
wv: blamyo
I gave up on sleeping around when I was about twenty six (I'm 44 now)
It was messy and quite often ended in tears - I found the whole thing, on ballance, was more traumatic than it was pleasurable. So I got married and have not slept around since.
Can't say I've not had urges to wander. But, as we all know, wanting is so often better than having.
Good post, Shelly.
Hey Doris,
Don't.fuck.with.me!
:)
Kevin- Anybody who can even make a marriage last over a year nowadays deserves a medal. Good for you!
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