Are Combovers A Sign Of Self Esteem Issues?

Are combovers a sign of self esteem issues? Don't ask me why this random thought has been popping into my gerbil brain all week. It just has.

*SPIN. SPIN. SPIN.*

But what right do I have to judge? I could take sheep shears to my mop and GI Jane high noon stubble would grow back within a couple of hours! I'm like some miracle chia pet who would probably sprout without even being watered!

So perhaps self esteem has nothing to do with it then??? I mean, Donald Trump sure does wear his combed over mullet with pride!

(Don't argue with me bitches! If you can't see what is underneath it, it could very well be a mullet!)

I suppose I just don't get the deal with insecurity over receding hairlines and such. I don't get the spray paint hair can thingy at all!

In fact, if I were to lose my hair tomorrow, I'd simply shave that shit like I was joining some extremist group, wax my head bald and buff it to make it extra shiny, and then use the sun to deflect my energy to blind all of my enemies!

Does this make me sound like some callous twat?

Ironically, my best friend Laura broke up with a man, a few years back, after they had only been together for a period of about a year.

I was completely taken aback by this because he was such a beautiful person. He had eyes you could just drown in. He always said the sweetest things and He had a body even I couldn't help gawking at.

After they split up, I kept asking her what in the hell for. This was a wonderful man. Just what in the hell was she thinking? For a while, she just told me it was self esteem issues but wouldn't give up the goods. Eventually, when I was able to corner the bitch, I found out the dishy shit.

Who would have thunk it? I felt like such a buffoon because I never once thought in a million years he was bald. How could she tell me such a thing and rape my poor little mind like that?

I mean, He wore a baseball cap for a year but I never put two and two together. I just thought he was a trucker so the trucker hat made perfect sense to little old me.

I mean. Trucker hat. Man who is a trucker. Who would have thought anything else?

Does this make me sound like a naive twit?

But that wasn't the real juicy shit. Oh no! The real juice was when she told me he refused to take the baseball cap off even when he was in the bedroom!

Lawdy. Lawdy. I have never laughed so hard in my entire fucking life.

It wasn't his baldness which made me laugh either. It was because I was thinking about her in boinker mode and I kept pondering over whether He had to move his bill every time he changed sexual positions.

Get that booty propeller man!!!! lol.

(I sure do hope Laura never reads this.)