Letting Go Of Bitterness

There is often a thin line between being a victim and victimizing another. What usually makes a person cross over that line is harbored bitterness.

An intelligent man once said, "An education is merely what is left over after the majority of what has been taught has been forgotten."

For some of us, life is an endless circle. There will always be occurrences, which end with the same results, and a gravitation towards the same types of people.

I often wonder if bitterness is actually a projection on others of a manifested anger which is felt after a replayed circumstance.

If the man you are angry with reminds you of your father, are you really angry with that person or are you actually still angry at your father?

I used to think in such black and white.

I used to tell myself that good is good and bad is bad. A rapist is a rapist and a murderer is a murderer.

And the victim of a perpetrator is simply that.

A victim.

However, lately I am beginning to understand that perhaps most people who have harmed others were once also harmed themselves.

It is often easy to judge those who have chosen a different path in life- especially if a person can only see a portion of any given picture.

I sometimes shake my head when I continue to see so much suffering in this world.

Ultimately though, I realize life is one big lesson.

Change is a bridge which can only be crossed by learning to let go.

Sending Mother's Day Flowers From Heaven

Most mothers, this time of year, will be taken out to dinner or sent flowers. It is the American tradition.

I can not even count the Mother's Day presents I have sent, over the years, or the ones I have hand made. The crayola stained cards are now memories which were once used to accent magnets on a refrigerator.

But this year, one person will not have the same opportunity that most of us take for granted. The only thing which remains now is a picture of a man who might still be alive today had it not been for negligence and cruelty.

The year was 2008 and the month was November. His name was Abraham Biggs. Nobody knows exactly why he did the things he did that day or the reasons why.

The only thing which is certain is the fact he set up a live webcam, told members of a forum he intended to commit suicide, induced too many drugs in one sitting, and later died of a drug overdose.

I say "later" because the camera feed rolled continuously for 12 hours. The hits continued to accumulate but nobody did anything.

Viewers of the website did nothing. The person hosting the website did nothing. In fact, some forum members left mean spirited messages and actually encouraged him to finish the act while others were busy contemplating whether it was the real deal or not.

By the time the police arrived, Abraham was obviously unconscious on his bed.

Would this man still be alive today if it were not due to his involvement with the Internet? Some say he was troubled and it would not of made a bit of difference.

I beg to differ however.

I've seen the cruelty which goes on on Internet forums. I've seen the name calling and the bullying when people don't say the right things or do not fit in.

I've seen what happens when someone goes to the police and tries to file a report for Internet harassment.

The first question the police officer asks is if you have had any monetary loss. The next thing he says is that since the Internet isn't regulated there is really nothing he can do about it.

There is currently no data base, in the United States, which gives accurate statistics regarding Internet crimes.

If a person can't even fill out a police report and get an honest answer back regarding harassment, there is no way to measure statistics for data which they say doesn't exist.

Something with the system is seriously broken.

Temporary Blog Closure

The truth can never be found by using words alone. However, the sword of any tongue can manipulate perception until what is believed becomes the word.

History is merely the big lie any majority agrees to believe in.

I just want to clarify something. The following comment was left by me. I posted two anonymous comments on James' blog because my Iphone was unable to log onto blogger and he allows anonymous comments on his. I wouldn't want someone to misinterpret things or say someone else posted the comment when they did not. If in doubt, check the site meter page. The Iphone is me. I still use the wi-fi on it sometimes even though the phone is inactive.

I will be back shortly. This blog will be undergoing a few changes. Past posts have not been deleted, just saved as drafts for reorganization.

Sometimes You've Just Got To Believe In Yourself

You're not who you think you are;
you're not who others think you are;
you're who you think others think you are!
--- Source Unknown

When I was a little girl, I was taken to the school health facility and asked to perform a psych test which consisted of a board with geometric holes in it. After answering some questions, I was given an allotment of square and round pegs to complete the task at hand.

Once one child passed the exercise, they were escorted back to the classroom, and another child was chosen to complete the same activity.

This was done to decide which students were "normal" and which ones were not. If one was then deemed to not be classified as such, they would be placed in a special classroom full of students who were considered to have special needs.

As irony would have it, I didn't pass the test because I told the teacher I could make the round peg fit in the square hole by merely focusing on the board with my eyes.

I completed the test faster then the other students did. However, what came out of my mouth made the teacher place me in "the other classroom" for a short period of time.

I didn't stay there long, but the experience still haunts me to this day.

For some reason, just because the teacher could not see the same things I did, and because I could not communicate effectively enough, I was the one who was considered to be wrong.

Define normal though.

What is normal once someone gains the power to control another person's perceptions? What is normal when we live in a world where people lie and deceive others just to make connections with people in high places?

When someone is poor and not normal, they are told they are crazy and unfit to live in the real world.

When someone is rich and considered not normal, they are classified as eccentric and their actions are ignored. I guess it's okay to be not normal if someone can still be used to make a connection in life.

Somebody please tell me you can't focus on the above picture with your eyes and make the round peg fit in the square hole if you stare at it long enough.

Perhaps I don't communicate the way other people want me to, but it doesn't mean I'm anymore crazy then anybody else is.

If one can not focus on something the eyes aren't capable of seeing yet, one never really understands how to see anything at all.