"The best revenge is massive success."~Frank Sinatra

Sometimes It Pays To Be Kind To People

I don't know just what in the hell has been going on lately, but it seems my new attitude has changed my life dramatically.

Within the last two days, I have scored on free shit like you wouldn't believe! It isn't like there was any motive on my part either to suck up to get freebies.

Truth be told, I was actually a bit blown away because I have never been the type who wins anything.

I called my mother and asked her for advice and she told me to shut the hell up and go buy a lottery ticket!

So the question I have been pondering over lately is if being positive does ultimately attract more positive things to happen?

A couple of days ago, I was eating at a restaurant where the waitress was constantly being belittled by the man she was serving. Seeing how closed off she was, I made a conscious effort to look in her eyes and smile as she was serving me.

What I didn't expect was for her to open up and talk about her recent vacation or her boyfriend or her life outside of the job. However, she did just that.

Later on I would contemplate just what I did to make her feel so comfortable. I mean, was it my kindness, or did she just sense my openness so, in turn, became more open herself?

As I was getting ready to leave, I looked down at my bill to find it to be half the price it should have been. Being a person of integrity, I looked up and said, "Sweety, I think you calculated my bill wrong. There are some items missing and you didn't add my diet coke to the bill at all."

She just looked at me with a little devilish grin on her face and winked at me and said, "Honey. As far as I'm concerned, you had water all night."

Ironically, yesterday I also hit the freebie jackpot!

I hate to admit it, but I have a terrible Starbucks habit. As I was pulling up to the window, I was expecting a standard greeting and got just the opposite!

Before any words exited my mouth, the cute little coffee boy came across the speaker and frightened me by telling me what my order was!

My response, "What are you, fucking psychic? How did you know my order? Can you see me?"

"No. I'm psychic." he says this while laughing hysterically.

"you little lying bastard" I say "the camera is right fucking there."

I point to the camera with my "f" finger and reach out of my car and cover it up.

We were both laughing so hard and I felt a little guilty because the line behind me was beginning to back up with cars.

Surprising enough, after receiving my coffee, he looks at me and smiles and says, "open up your hands sweetheart."

Who would have thunk it? Starbucks is coming out with some new brand of instant coffee which can be added to cold water.

I now have about a months supply of coffee samples. Lol.

I Prefer Mystery

I think sometimes to reveal too much is to also take away from a precious gift. We live in a world where some choose to publicly display their affections instead of keeping things private amongst themselves.

Me myself, I prefer a little mystery. Although I joke a lot, and can be vulgar at times, in some aspects of my life I do not believe in banners. Some words are better left unspoken.

Sometimes to give is to also take away. If a man sends his girlfriend flowers every Friday and forgets one weekend to mail them, would the lady place more emphasis on what she received previously or what was now forgotten? At what point does giving turn into expecting? And doesn't expecting also diminish love?

What would a woman accomplish by constantly needing her husband to show affection to her in front of others? Is there honestly any love in the need? Or perhaps is real love more to do with simply knowing?

If a person can't believe in something without seeing it first, does a person truly believe in anything?

Call me an ass, but I've always thought true love and spirituality are intertwined. Faith, hope, and love are not separate in my mind.

To show the world what one has is to honestly reveal nothing.

So I prefer a little mystery.

Yes, some things are better left unsaid.

Foot In Mouth Disease

Why must I have such a horrible disease? I so do hope I will one day learn how to keep my trap shut.

I am so not the person everyone pegs me as on the internet.

The truth is I have a potty mouth but I am not some two bit skank.

The truth is I have been hit on more then I have ever hit on others.

I have rejected more offers then I have ever accepted.

I find porno movies pathetic and people who think that shit is real even more pathetic.

I do not feel comfortable around people who are "in your face" homos as it makes me feel uncomfortable.

(that comment will probably get me into trouble)

I have more straight friends then gay ones. I get along better with men then I do with most women.

Nobody at work knows anything about my private life. I am actually a very discreet person.

I can't stand when women manipulate with their sexuality to get ahead. I hate it when men bring up the topic of sex to try to get sex.

I will turn off all emotions like a water faucet if my trust is compromised.

I do not sleep with someone on the first date.

I do not give to get back. I'm a hopeless romantic who is hides this side of myself beneath a hard shell.

I don't even get the whole dating scene because I find it cheesy to settle for something one doesn't want or to use one person as a backup to avoid being emotionally attached to another.


.

You Dainty Bitch!

Which blogger has an actual *gag reflex* if you say the word (brace yourselves) PERIOD in front of her? In fact....

Drum roll please...

She calls it "her thing" because she just can't bare the vulgarity of us Americans!

Don't assume that little Uber (www.ubertwat.com)mask she puts on tells the real truth about the person she actually is! It's all a facade peoples! Don't believe it.

I know so much dirt on this woman I'm almost having an orgasm thinking about what I'll say next!

Top. That. Lurch.

We. Know. How. You. Like. Those. PERIODS.

No Agendas

The one thing I have learned, this past year, is how true friendship or love can never come from a place of egos or agendas.

If one person befriends another to hurt someone else, will the friendship last? If a person sleeps with someone just to hurt somebody else, will the relationship ship really last once the deception has served its purpose? And if one person constantly talks to a friend about relationships with others, is it honestly a true friendship or just a mutual meeting to used to vent instead of practicing effective communication?

If a man only befriends a woman to get into her pants, is he truly a man? And if the woman rejects him, is he any less a man?

A real man would love a woman regardless. A real woman wouldn't settle for something she doesn't want.

A true friend would get to know a person based on values and morals.

Love is not about connecting to one person to get to another. A person should not hand out compliments as a means of getting something in return.

When one sets up expectations, the end result is always failure because to expect is to also control.

Love is not about making someone else feel uncomfortable or bending someone to break their will. Love knows no deceit. Love isn't about manipulation. Love isn't making someone feel that they aren't good enough. Love isn't about competition.

I can honestly say I am happy to bring new friends into my life now for the first time in a long time.

I am happy to get to know people and to learn about different cultures.

I am willing to give with all my heart.

There are no agendas.

Irrelevant Ramblings of a Nitpicky Bitch

Have you ever wondered why some people don't just staple a handicapped placard to their ass permanently?

















Have you ever felt like finding out where that guy lives, who invented those blue headlights, and cutting off his head with a hatchet?


















Why is it the lazy ass brown noser always gets promoted while the people who actually do the job always get more work?

















Why do I pay such horrendous gym fees every month and have yet to find a tanning bed which tans every portion of the body?

























And why must every bar have at least one man in it who will lift up their shirt and show me their scars like they think it will impress me?

Triggered

I thought this would be the year I wouldn't react to all of the bullshit which provokes me every September.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. So I removed a post I put up yesterday and today I will try once again to focus on something more positive.

I've been up 3 days straight now. Christ I wish the insomnia bullshit would just stop.

(No. I don't use drugs)

I just need to learn to relax.

Am I A Chauvinist?

Am I a chauvinist piglet? I have been asking myself this question all week.

Why is it that when a man calls me, I will look at the number and allow him to leave an answering machine message at least once before picking up the phone the next time he makes contact?

Why is it I am not as picky with women as I am with men?

Why must most men be a perfect 10 before I will give them the time of day, whereas with women I will give leeway due to emotions? I'm not a perfect 10. Why should I expect those traits in someone else which I do not possess myself? I mean, do emotions really matter? Are women really such complex creatures so I tell myself it is okay to treat them differently?

I am honestly the type who can completely disconnect from men without batting an eye after a friendship ends (yes, I'm horrible. *gasp* I even forget names.) but is it really fair of me to not act the same way where women are concerned?

I was watching a movie a few months ago. I can't honestly remember the name of it now, but I did remember the following Michael Douglas line:

"The person who is in control in any given relationship is the person who cares the least."

What a brilliant fucked up analogy. So true, don't you think?

I just wish I was the type who didn't give a crap at all. Life would be so lovely!

I was told the other day I am a perfect contradiction. Someone who hides her feminine side but who, in quite a few ways, is actually very feminine. Someone who at times can be very sexual but who constantly suppresses her passion. Someone who writes a serious blog, but who in real life is actually the complete opposite.

Just where am I going with this?

I think there is a part of me who no longer wants to hide that part of me most people don't get close enough to ever see. I think I need more men in my life. I want more friends.

I definitely don't need any more whack jobs!

Yes, I see a new me in the works.

Times are definitely changing.

Quote For The Week

"No evil will ever really die until one learns to first remove their own compulsions."

A Wonderful Unphotoshopped Picture Of A Perfect Finger

True progress is never made by those who manipulate others to get ahead.

It is done by simply possessing the ability to tell the opposing to take a ride on the obvious and take a spin.

Please click on the photo, for a close-up image on your Iphone, to receive the full benefit of this post.